Identifying controlling/manipulative relationships

Posted by on June 29, 2017

Often it’s difficult to realise that we may be being emotionally manipulated to fulfil the low self-esteem or narcissistic tendencies of another. You may be told it’s all your fault, you are the reason why your partner or friend behaves in a certain negative way, that you have ‘driven’ them to act in this way and that you must constantly attempt to make amends for being… ‘abusive or thoughtless’ of their needs.

They might praise you in one breath and then subtly attack you in another leaving you confused and doubting yourself. They might display behaviours such as giving you - Read More

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The Counselling Cabin

Posted by on September 15, 2016

Lovely to see the cabin bathed in sunlight this beautiful September morning.

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Even little acts of kindness can make a difference

Posted by on September 15, 2016

I wonder what you could do today that could change yours, and maybe even someone else’s day? Little acts of kindness, be it a smile or a nod, giving someone a lift to the shops or popping in to see someone who you know may need a friend right now, not only is good for the receiver but also for the giver x Thank you to my dear friends for their parcels of produce from their gardens which appear on my doorstep and good luck this morning with the brownies and scones – not my finest baking but hopefully they’ll - Read More

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What can you expect from me as your counsellor?

Posted by on July 27, 2016

What can you expect from me as your counsellor?
Never above you
Never below you
Always by your side
For as long as you decide…
During this part of your life’s story

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Breathing Techniques for Anxiety / Panic Attacks

Posted by on July 15, 2016

Remembering to breathe when we are in a state of anxiety is one of the quickest ways to calm yourself. When we get anxious or panicky our breathing becomes shallow as the danger that we see/perceive to be happening to us or around us alerts us to trigger our flight (run away), fight (stand and attack) or freeze (shut down unable to move and play dead).

The first thing to ask yourself when you begin to feel panicky or anxious is – Is the threat or danger real or in my thoughts/mind?

If it is the former then you must do what - Read More

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What is being genuine?

Posted by on July 9, 2016

Ever wondered if someone is being genuine? Often our bodies and minds interact to tell us – some people call it a gut feeling – here’s some pointers towards recognising true genuine reactions both within yourself and others…

G = Get your listening (and hearing) ears on – thank you Judge Judy 😉
E = Engage and be compassionate
N = Notice and show that you notice
U = Understand, be authentic and accept…
I = Interested and Inquisitive
N = Non-judegemental
E = Empathise and hold

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“Honesty is the highest form of intimacy”

Posted by on July 7, 2016

Ever felt that someone (or yourself) was saying something which just didn’t add up or feel real?…Mis-communication is not just about ‘not getting’; what someone else means or not saying what it is you want to really say -It’s a complete experience which we often forget includes our bodies, behaviours and thoughts…

Communication isn’t just about talking… take a moment today to notice what it is people around you are honestly communicating without saying a word…and then maybe wonder what it is you are honestly ‘saying’ in return – you may be surprised at what you ‘hear’

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Birthdays – How present are you?

Posted by on June 10, 2016

So the Queen celebrates her 90th Birthday this weekend and I wonder how she feels about it? I wonder what gift you would give her? How many of us actually stop to think about what our day of birth really means to us?

Celebrating, or not celebrating, the gift of life is such a personal experience and for us all individually we may have many associations and feelings attached to the time frame around the actual day as well as on the day itself. And then there is the present/gift thing – the moment when we give and the moment - Read More

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Because Relationships matter…

Posted by on May 26, 2016

Struggling in relationships with family, friends, work colleagues or loved ones can undermine our mental well being leaving us deflated, irritable and exhausted.

Healthy relationships develop when we make time to nurture them.

In a world of social media it can be tempting to lose ourselves in a cyber world and neglect those in our immediate vicinity.

Staying present with friends, family and loved ones is an important part of making and keeping healthy connections.

Listening to what other people are saying in a non-judgemental way and concentrating on their needs at that moment communicates trust and acceptance. They are talking to you because - Read More

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When you can’t make a session…

Posted by on April 30, 2016

Yesterday there was a counselling time slot when I would normally have been seeing a client but due to a pre-arranged situation she was unable to make our session together. People have asked me what do you do in that time?

The simple truth is that I sit quietly in my counselling room and I think about the client. And so it was that yesterday I sat in the silence reflecting on my client and the world she has faced and faces and her deep courage in doing so. And I wrote. I wrote everything I know about her but not - Read More

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