Why did I just do that?!

“Behaviour is the product of relational experiences” Margot Sutherland.
In addressing behaviour we need to understand what is trying to be communicated. Sometimes we find ourselves acting or saying something and wondering why did i  just say/do that?! Behaviour expresses a part of our inner world. It communicates a part of us we may or may not be aware of and draws on our experienced expectations of self and other.


In understanding our behaviour we need to ask why we are communicating and relating in this way. What result am i expecting/predicting based on my experiences from the past in relating to others? Is the threat still there that I have to resort to this behaviour to have my needs met to survive and thrive or maybe other experiences I’ve had could be a better way of relating and behaving in the future?

When we stop and ask ‘why’ then we give ourselves the space and opportunity to change – we give ourselves the chance to challenge the blueprint of relating that we have developed since birth and adopt behaviours which enrich our lives. Is today the day you ask yourself why?


Leave a Reply